Everyone doing well in college seems to be an jerk. Should I be one too?
No, here's why:
- a) Being an jerk usually catches up to people. Yes, initially it might seem like the ones who treat people like garbage are the ones that are surrounded by the most number of people; we also don’t understand why that happens. But, once you start progressing through college, you’ll realize that toxicity is the last thing you need in your life — interestingly, sleep becomes the number one priority. And once that realization hits you — it’s most likely hitting other people too. Therefore, the general pattern is, most people leave them. Towards senior year, you’ll see they’re left with a handful of other jerks at the end of college. But that’s okay: they’re jerks and you don’t want to associate with them.
- b) Your reputation matters. Even if you do it for selfish reasons, you want people to like you. Ten years later when you need some help from someone (and you will) who kinda, sorta, knew you from college, you don’t want them to envision you as a jerk when they read your message. That’s easy to do; don’t be an jerk to them during college. This means — don’t be an jerk to anyone during college. Help out where you can. Message people to hang out. There’s also evidence about improvements in mental health when you help someone. Like we said — even if you do it for selfish reasons.
- c) Remember the Silver Rule: “Do not do to others what you would not like them to do to you.” (From Skin in the Game – Nassim Taleb)